Catch Up, Embodiment, and a Shift of the Masses
Where I'm at, becoming in tuned with our bodies again, and the shift of where society is going
I’ll be surprised if I haven’t scared any readers away with my brutally honest dark heart this past year. One dark piece, after another, after another.
Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnn!!! I’m back bitches!!!! From no longer breastfeeding aka. hormones wildin’ out to copious amounts of psychotherapy, you will no longer be picking up on said ‘heaviness’.
Upon much reflection the last four months, I’ve realized that having a baby brings up baggage never dealt with to the surface, leaving you no choice but to face yourself. I have. I ignored that knowing for awhile, meaning my deep-rooted insecurities holding me back form enjoying life, so I was forced into facing these undercurrents waving through my subconscious.
So yes, fiery-ass hormones are the driver to facing yourself. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to hormones and there is no deeper meaning, for sure. I believe that. Other times, I do think that hormones expose things that we’ve stuffed away or ignored or overlooked in our lives prior. And it’s up to us, it was up to me to decide what the fuck to do about the patterns in me I was seeing. Either, keep falling into a spiral of self-loathing and anxiety or do the work to get the heck out of the hole. After a war of fighting my own body and mind, I finally chose the latter. And thank God for that.
The veil has been peeled back. I can see the light again.
The process of psychotherapy. A good-ass trained, healthy, psychotherapist who knows exactly what he or she is doing.
Embodiment.
Processing through suppressed emotions, processing through old memories, really feeling each one which allows any hurt to leave my body. I noticed a shift happening after the hardwork of grieving began to dissipate.
Each time an old feeling arose, my strung out nervous system began to calm. Each hard memory remembered, sadness, anger felt was ejected out of me. Thus, creating beautiful space within my body.
Picture a clogged pipe. I’m the pipe, the clog is the hurt, the poison, the false self.
One day at a time, my nervous system began regulating itself toward equilibrium. As that clog was expunged upward and out through the pipe of my own vessel, I finally began seeing reality, my life, those close to me more clearly. I started seeing the truth. The truth about who I am. The truth about how beautiful both of my parents are. How caring my close friends are. Who is a healthy person versus who is not. I’ve learned how strong and capable of a mother I am. How much I love spending time with my mini family, taking our routine evening walks.
I’ve learned hw setting boundaries provide peace and confidence in my life. That asking myself what I want and what I like is not selfish. That being highly sensitive is a gift and that it does not mean weakness.
As I journeyed through this process, I have grown more and more in tune with my own body. More in tune with my basic needs - such as resting when my body is tired, working out when it’s energized, eating an orea when my body wants sweets, saying no to social hangouts because I just don’t want to.
When babies simple needs are met, they are happy. How should this be any different for us as adults?
We so often neglect our needs. Dismiss the body as if it’s an object that just gets us from the car to the front door. We tend to focus solely on our minds and neglect the mind-body connection. Our minds are important, but we forget that our nerves (NS) run throughout our entire body, communicating with us every second. Through my journey of reflection, desired temporary isolation, psychotherapy, tears, shouting, progress, and setbacks, listening to what my body is trying to tell me, I’ve realized that my sense of self is emerging. My social interactions have been super pleasant. My drive toward a bigkahuna career has decreased, along with the anxiety controlling me. Simply less trapped in my own unpredictable mimetic mind.
And now for the macro level talk. For the masses. Maybe for you.
We are taught to strive for more, more, more. Neglecting our own essential needs that used to be fulfilled as a kid in order to achieve what? Right now, I know so many people close to me that are asking themselves this question. For what? I was working 100 hours a week on my laptop. And for what? I was burning out from seeing over 30 patients a day with no lunch break. And for what? I just want to be healthy. I want to find what I love. Do what I want to do.
This question is making its way into the forefront of young people’s minds in America right now. We are rushing and doing and building and creating and…
… all for what, again?
Our eagerness toward filling our lives with busyness is dropping down on the priority list. As someone who stays at home, I’ve just been watching this shift happen all around me. Through friends and family and strangers. I can’t help but notice a new pattern of friends and family quitting their jobs. People are tired of their everyday movements, constantly running off of adrenaline - at work, with friends, at home. Perhaps we’re becoming convicted that there is more to life than achievement. That our identity is not satisfied in production.
An identity crisis of the masses is here. I think it’s wonderful news! I’m curious though, where is the shift headed now? Where will we place our value next?
I think it’s as simple as people are desiring to get back to themselves. To connect and reach who they truly are inside. To tune back into their own needs, their own precious body, for the purpose of peace and serenity. To disconnect from our draining obligations, like the millions of texts we get throughout the day. I can see it. People are fucking over it and I love it. I can see that longing to with nature again. To touch the earth’s plants with our bare hands and get our damn feet filthy. To make babies. To find love. To reach Eden. We are all searching it. Perhaps living a full life, doesn’t mean busyness anymore. Perhaps living a full life is ‘living a simple life’. After all, living simply gives us the capacity for connecting and uniting with one another. I believe that at least. What do you think?
All I can claim is that a shift has happened within me. And I know that there is a shift happening on a greater scale as well. This shift is good. This shift is positive. Really positive. Even beautiful.
Covid was our death. But maybe, just maybe, we are finally seeing Covid’s aftermath of redemption.
XOXO,
KJ.