There are so many different topics I could write about right now - like how I may have Covid and my only presenting symptom is that my brain feels like a pile of mush. I could also write about car mechanics. An hour ago, as we picked up our Suby girl who keeps breaking down every month, I sat in the parking lot observing a mechanic break down a car and then put it back together. Like legos. This is just as fascinating and challenging as a doctor’s job. Why do we place docs, politicians and scientists on a pedestal and not these guys? These guys should be added to the societal status we place on the oh so prestigious job ladder. Ten years of schooling and I still wouldn’t be able to figure out how to replace the front axel of a car. They deserve something as cool as “Dr.” in front of their names.
I could talk about winter and what this season provides and takes away from our souls. Whoa, deep. I know. But, none of these topics are the choice for today’s piece. Sorry folks.
Today, we shall try an experiment. I call it “Mission Happy Heart”.
So as you can see, it’s easy for me to write about what’s wrong with the world and with myself. Perhaps I sound condemning and severely depressed at times. Bear with me as I’m working on that. My subconscious appears to always be working out the kinks. And today just plain old sucked. SO… here is the experiment: I will write about what doesn’t suck. In doing so, I will measure the outcome of my mood upon finishing. If it works, I suggest you give it a whirl if and when your heart begins to gradually decline.
This world is full of beautiful wonder. Every man, woman, and animal that walks upon it is miraculous in their own right. It is safe to say that everyone is designed for a purpose. To give outward, to serve a greater purpose, though much of that purpose is unknown. That unknown purpose can be terrifying, but I find it comforting. The comfort that dwells among the uncertainty is the relief that we don’t solely run the world. We don’t run the purpose. So instead of being the face behind the purpose, we can just… be a part of it. We can rely on that face to carry us in its hand, to mold us like clay, and only trust that it’ll throw us into the wild redemption of the universe when ready. But, we must have patience.
Patience. Patience gives us wise perspective. Waiting shapes our character, shapes our hearts. Sets the human heart on something greater, something we trust. Patience can only be present with that something we trust. Because if it’s not present, we’re off to the races yet again, competing and hiding and exhausting ourselves in the game. Right now, I am in the window of patience. Not with marriage. Not with having a baby. No, these came fast and out of the blue for me. But where I must remain patient is with my career, my calling. Waiting month after month as I slowly make my way toward the end of the third draft. Slowly seeing the views on these pieces climb, then decline, then climb again. I am forced to be patient with my writing, seeing it increase to a crazy talented level one week and then resort to a terrible one the next three weeks. This window of patience is worthy of my heart and I am worthy of its. Because I trust that something is stirring, something is coming. And it’s purposeful. Just like the world, though, it is uncertain. So in the meantime, I allow myself to be held in the hands of the One who knows my purpose and I wait… I wait with nothing but gratitude.
Gratitude. The simplicity of gratitude. Gratitude in its full rewiring form. Every time that I think about being grateful for the sweet air that I breathe and the love of those who surround me, a rewiring of the brain happens. As humans, we are wired to pay attention to the negative. It’s our default. Our brains are used to that and are being programmed toward that more and more everyday. By the tragedies we face, the news we watch, and the tears we cry over relational heartbreak. It’s everywhere and our brains adapt to it.
But gratitude. Oh our infinite friend, Gratitude. She is our therapy. She unwires and rewires us towards a healthier mind, towards healthier relationships, toward success in our wondrous purpose. When we forget about her, we deteriorate. Even when it feels forced or wrong, we must feed our friend, Gratitude. She is just essential to our spirit as blood is to our heart. Thank goodness for that.
You all are wonderful. You all are intertwined into One that soothes our souls. I trust that You will work all things for good… for my friends reading this, for my family, and for myself. We cannot survive without you. Wake us up. Rewire us. Renew us. I can tell you already are. Experiment “Happy Heart” accomplished.