My apologies for the amount of time that has gone by since we chatted. Mr. Writing and I have decided to take a break from our dating life. The baby is growin’, my hormonal moods are swingin’, and I haven’t had the desire to cultivate this rollercoaster of a relationship since all my energy is moving toward growing a human being. But you know what they say, sometimes an artist must put their work down for a period of time. Why? For the quality of the work? Perhaps. For our own sanity? Winner, winner chicken dinner. To tap into your creative subconscious brain 24/7 may equate to losing yourself in a never-ending acid trip. Well, maybe I shouldn’t use that dramatic of a comparison, but you know what I mean. Heck, a one-minute conversation with a person in the coffee shop zaps the heck out of me, never mind writing my book or three pieces of work on substack a week.
The point is, however, that it’s been a while. I’m back… today. Can’t tell you when I shall return in the future, but here I am right here, right now. Thank you for your patience in this ride as I have missed you all so dearly.
So, what shall you and I discuss on this gray and rainy day? The movie, ROOM. Have you ever watched or heard of it?
It’s a thriller, where a mother and her son have been confined to the walls of an 8x8 shed due to being kidnapped by an abusive and psychotic man. The little boy, Jack, has never been let outside. He has no reference to ever having lived in a different world, a world outside of his room in this tiny shed at which him and his terrified momma share. His mother makes a plan to escape the room and leave this evil-driven world she’s been captured in for seven years. But as she introduces the idea of leaving their ROOM to little Jack, he throws a fit. He doesn’t want to leave his small world. He’s comfortable, it’s what he knows, it’s what he enjoys, his brain can’t fathom anything else. He doesn’t even want to imagine anything beyond what he can see, touch, and control.
How many of us resonate with momma? The longing to escape a world that confines our hearts and our minds. Perhaps this points to an unhealthy relationship that is deteriorating our spirits at the seams. Or a job that provides us good pay, benefits, and a great lifestyle. But a job that keeps us stagnant, maybe even bored. What about the friends we hang out with? Do we long for a more diverse friend group? A group of people that we wouldn’t naturally gravitate to.
Or are we like little Jack? Too scared and comfortable to break out of the world we live in. Is it too scary to shift out of one world and into another? Is the relationship too comfortable? Is it stagnant? If so, let’s start being honest with ourselves. Is the job easy? Is that why we stay in our jobs? It’s easy, controllable, and keeps us comfortable. And we Americans love comfort. Do our friends provide us with the needs we want and limit ourselves to opportunities of befriending people unlike us? I know that’s a default of mine (remember, I preach what I long to be, not who I am right now).
The tension between little Jack wanting to remain in his confined room and his momma who is ready to break out and into a more fulfilling life is the war that resides within all of us. As for myself, my world is my husband, my church, friends who share the same interests and beliefs, Second State Coffee, my podcast, and my almost born baby girl. You may think it sounds well-diversified, but in my heart, I know it isn’t. I just don’t feel that it is enough.
I can’t just have Christian friends. It makes me feel too exclusive. Plus, I’m afraid my faith will become shallow. I need people to challenge me. I notice I enjoy my faith more when I befriend people seeking meaning, people who don’t “know” God yet, whatever that even means. Yet, my Christian friends provide such a safe space for me when I need grounding. But wait, why am I looking at this so black and white? That’s dangerous in itself! The moral of the story is I want all kinds of people in my life. I want to view everyone as one and the same, yet complex, unique, and different because every individual is. Then my critical judgments shall fall away. When can I see more of the world? Maybe when my baby gets a bit older we can live in a foreign country for months at a time. What about my book? I can’t just fill my life around a story about myself, how self-absorbing, ick! Where do I go? Maybe this is where I’m supposed to be, in a wrestling match. And wrestling matches are not supposed to be easy.
“It’s not supposed to be easy.” And that’s just it. Maybe I’m breaking out of my old world and into a new one. Though it’s not easy. The change in dynamics with people since being pregnant has been challenging. Shifting out of the professional world and into a more homie world has also had its rough moments. But I’ve come to conclude is that for Jack and his mother, escaping their small confined room was necessary for their growth and survival. It meant taking risk, being uncomfortable and, in strength, taking a jackhammer and destroying those four walls that were caving in around them.
So what does this mean for us? It means taking courage. If you’re at war with wanting to break out of the current world you live in, you’re in the right place. If you’re conscious of the things in your life that have the potential to make you too comfortable and stagnant, that’s where you’re supposed to be. Remember, an aspect of living through this life is to always be at war with ourselves and the world around us, to question our motivations and desires.
If you’re someone who takes nothing from this piece, hear me out. Whatever world you reside in right now, rest assured that there is a beautiful spiritual world out there that is so infinite, that we will never be confined to it. Seek that world first, then the rest of your life will begin to make more sense.
XOXO,
Kelly Jett.
Loved this piece and the flow. Embarking on a new journey is always scary, but I am learning to use that fear as fuel!!